Nocturnal Orphan – Little Elf in big Pond of Drama, The Comic Industry USA

My Hardest Critic Is Me

As an artist you have to deal with criticism. However, for me my biggest critic is myself. I am very impatience went it comes to my art and I hate waiting for people to look at my art and tell me what they think. There is times I feel like I almost cannot breath due to the pressure of waiting to heard people tell me what they think.

I think it have gotten worst in past years for me. It have to do a lot with the many failures I have in my life. Such as getting an degree in Biological Engineering and never really working in my field. As well as having a divorce after 11 years of marriage with two children and losing my children in the process (which I have not seen my children in six years). I have this hidden pressure to be successful. I feel like I am trying to make up for the many failures I have experiences.

You may asked why I am talking about criticism. It is because I have to fight my own feeling that I may fail before I know the results of what kind of impact my art have on people. I was feeling so happy early today right before I release my latest chapter for Nocturnal Orphan. However, as the night went on and I got lost with my thoughts in my head that “Oh no, what if my art is not good?” “What if I did not do all I need to for the story?”

The only things that kept me from giving in to these thoughts is “what if I used this feeling for more content?” I thought of manga that I love very much call Skip Beat. The main character when though a lot of heartbreak and she was an actress in show biz. She used the painful feeling to remember what her face expression look like for acting. She used the hard times toward her professions.

I guess you could say I am writing this to talk myself out of allowing my feeling control my actions. I am not giving up.

If you would like to read Nocturnal Orphan, here is a link for you.

My Inspiration behind Nocturnal Orphan

This post will be a real personal topic for me. I have live thought a lot of hardship which help fuel my creative ability. So it is no different when I came up with the character Lynn in Nocturnal Orphan. These reason why I start Lynn at 18 months is because I want to show what the problems she may face at this age blocks. The series is a long one so at some point I will skip to age 5, 10, and 13. I want to show what kinds of problems she would face in a orphanage, and foster homes during these key age points.

My inspiration behind Lynn is my own son. My son have mild autism and have bounce from foster home to the next. He is finally living with my ex husband again. I will not go into many details about the situation but I will say that not all adult react in the right way with children that have mental illness such as autism. And not all children with autism are easy to control when they act out. It is a very difficult thing for parents, the child, social services, and the schools.

We as a society still have a lot to learn about these illness in children and it does not help that there are some who will response bad when they see someone who is different from them. These people may not be open to learn and change their behavior toward the child that is different who have no control over the way they behave due to their illness.

I believe that younger generation have a easier time learning to accept people that are different than the older generations. So in my comic series, you may notices that Lynn make get help more offer from the children living in the orphanage than the adults who are watching over her.

I did not just make this series for children, I made this for adults in mind (parents). I feel that comics series can express facial expressions more than putting this into words. Also, we are at a point in our society where most adults are not reading novel regular. Everyone live in a face-paced environment where most do not have the time to read a lot. I feel like I would reach more people if the layout of the story was in a comic series that would make it face to read thought with pictures.

So I hope you take the opportunity to read Nocturnal Orphan on Webtoons and thank you for your time to read this.

https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/nocturnal-orphan/list?title_no=267937

Lynn looking for food in the middle of the night. She sure do love meat.

Wednesday Thoughts

Date: 3/6/19

Every Wednesday I come out with a new episode of Nocturnal Orphan on Webtoons. It is a lot of work to make comics and write the story for them; however, I love telling stories and drawing the illustrations that goes with them. It is a challenge every week to made them. That is why it give me great enjoy when people read them and tell me that they like it.

I am very new at making comics, however, each time I work on a new episode, I feel like I am getting better. Most of my influences comes from the many anime, manga, and comics I have watch or reed. Stories have a way of aspirate us to be better person and/or never giving up when things are hard. I also think it is a great way of being connection with each other by having discussion about what we think of the story. I hope that my stories help someone.

I had times in my life when things was hard to overcome and stories have remember me to keep moving forward. I am still moving forward and I don’t regret that I never give up on my dreams. I am still on my journey to my dreams, however, one part of my dream have came true. Which to be a comic book artist.

The things about dreams, you have to keep pushing toward them even when it looks hopeless. I feel like I had a lot of detours that delay me from my dreams, but now that I look back…I would not be able to write the way I do if I have not took the detours. I had a lot of heartache and painful events that happen in my life and I am able to create a story that express these feelings that other can related to. So if you get lost on the way, it is very possible to get back to your dreams and you can use what you learn towards your dreams. The most important part to remember is to never give up.