I am currently working part time jobs while I work on my business. It have been super hard. I am currently trying to get my certification in computer programmer, however, I am doing though my state. The process is super slow and I have financially having a hard time. I am trying not think so much about how my store is getting no views…
Holiday are right around the corner which reminds me how I don’t have family to support me. It just remind me how alone I am.
I have friends but I don’t know how long that will last. I mean I have been told in personal test that I am no good with interpersonal relationships. And the last few years, I have seen that. Friendship for me normally run from 1 to 3 years. On the surface, I am good but if I let my friends know too much about me then most likely they are to run from me.
Lately, I feel like I have made good friends but I am scary. I am telling them a lot and I am worry that it will come all falling apart again.
The only good thing about my depression is I til created good art, but I don’t know how long I kept this up. I really don’t want to be one of those artists that get famous after death. However, I don’t know how I can keep pulling myself up each time I fall. I think we all have a limited and I not sure what my limited is. Will my limtied be tomorrow, the next day, a year from now, or 10 years?
And yes, I have been fighting depression for years now. Some days it is worst then others. Right now, I maybe losses to it. And yes, I am having negative thoughts right now.